I've always heard that a girl's first true love is her father, but for me it was my grandfather. Don't get me wrong, I have always loved my father but our personalities clash. My grandfather passed away on March 26th. This past week has been quite revealing and upsetting but I want to take a moment to permanently put in to the world the best of my grandpa. Although it is true that we aren't "blood related," no one can tell my heart otherwise.
My brother and I used to spend the night at my grandparents quite a bit. My grandma would stay up late watching the most gruesome ER shows. As awful as they were we would stay up and watch them because, well, we got to stay up late. Each morning though, I would get up early to have a big bowl of Raisin Bran with my grandpa. It was his favorite so therefore, it was my favorite. Then would go for a long walk in their back yard. My grandparent's old house on Laney Road was way out in the country. They had a huge lake and a trail that led out to various people's back yards. This was a ritual every time I was there. We would walk and talk, and most of all, laugh.
He was the funniest, most goofy man you would ever meet. He couldn't stand still and would use his entire body to tell a story. He reminded me of Tim Allen in Home Improvement and would even make that little grunt. He loved and took care of my grandma. She was sweet and caring woman but not always the easiest for him to take care of. He wouldn't ever show that she was. He worshipped the ground she walked on. I remember a few conversations before he passed and he was always asking me if I found anyone. I was in my "Ugh, I don't need a man" phase but with each conversation he made me feel more optimistic about love. He'd tell me that there is a wonderful man out there waiting to love me. He just had so much excitement for me to find love.
If I find someone it will be a man just like him. Someone compassionate, that can make me really laugh, someone that will want to take care of me, someone that really listens when I talk, who will speak with so much wisdom, and finally someone that loves the way that he did. He had a special kind of love that made you feel important.
"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."
~Edna St Vincent Millay